Product Description
"He doesn't mean to hurt me-he just loses control."
"He can be sweet and gentle."
"He's scared me a few times, but he never hurts the children-he's a great father."
"He's had a really hard life..."

Women in abusive relationships tell themselves these things every day. Now they can see inside the minds of angry and controlling men-and change their own lives. In this groundbreaking book, a counselor shows how to improve, survive, or leave an abusive relationship, with:

€ The early warning signs
€ Nine abusive personality types
€ How to tell if an abuser can change, is changing, or ever will
€ The role of drugs and alcohol
€ What can be fixed, and what can't
€ How to leave a relationship safely

CUSTOMER REVIEWS (Average Customer Rating: 4.5 based on 190 reviews)

Great book!

"Why Does He Do That" is a very insightful book that has answered many questions for me. It's easy to read and hard to put down. I highly recommend it to everyone.

September 11, 2008

Hmmm I Did'nt Know That Was Abuse....

Hello. I really like the straight forward approach Lundy uses in the book. I had no idea so many behaviors were abusive..until now. The book puts things into perspective. He covers a lot and many circomstanses were not for me, but over all the book was very informative and supportive for the woman who is in an abusive relationship and doesn't know it and for the ones who know and just need to see it in print. The book offers clear boundaries and clear ways in which to handle each situation and the serious reasons why action needs to take place in most abusive situations. Overall very informative, supportive and clear.
September 05, 2008

Very Insightful

I haven't even read the entire book yet, but what I have read is very insightful. At times, the truth hurts while reading, it hits close to home but it a great reminder and helps you to understand and see the light. It's scary to think that I am not the only person that has experienced some of the incidences, but it is also very helpful to see how easily it is to be manipulated. I am more aware now of what to look for. I have read other self-help type books, but none were as detailed as this one. I recommend this book to others, I even showed it to my therapist, she's thrilled I'm reading it. There are a broad range of topices to be covered, this is a keeper.
September 02, 2008

Why do THEY do that?

Wow! This book is really popular among angry women!

I have to agree that Lundy does a good job of describing a particular type of abusive man. What he fails to do is recognize the well documented facts that
* 50% of all domestic violence is mutual - that is, involving both partners, equally
* 25% is initiated by the man, and 25% by the woman
* More than 85% of men are NEVER violent in their domestic relationships (as documented by very simple research - asking elderly women, most of whom had predeceased their partners, if they had ever in their lives been assaulted by a partner).

Domestic violence is NOT a gender problem. It is a human problem! The real victims of intimate partner assault are the CHILDREN - who are about equally divided between boys and girls

If domestic battery results from "male privilege," or other such feminist theories, how are we to explain women who batter men, women who batter other women (i.e., in lesbian relationships), and men who batter men?

I have raised these questions, and others, with the esteemed Mr. Bancroft. He refused to be "baited" with such questions. A "scientist?" I think not!

If you want to learn something about this topic, you might start with anything by Don Dutton, Linda Mills, or John Hamel.
August 29, 2008

Great Resource

As a therapist working with women involved in abusive relationships, I found this book to be very helpful to them and recommend it to most of my clients. As a clinician, I think there are many contradictions, but then, it wasn't written for me. Particularly helpful was the chapter on change.
August 26, 2008

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