Product Description
When Repeat After Me was first published in the 1980’s, it was a time when adult children of alcoholic families were coming out of the closet by the thousands. Until that time these were people who were silently making their way through adulthood not understanding why they were so unsatisfied and unhappy when "everything seemed okay," or why some one thing, person or place "was never enough." For many there was a chronic gnawing sense that something was missing. This great number of people happily took on the identity of being an ACA or ACOA (Adult Child of Alcoholic). They were grateful to have a framework in which to understand and conceptualize their experience. They had been given a language in which to voice their experiences. Yet what was true for this particular population could be generalized to people from other types of troubled families. They were from homes where there were abuses, other addictions, compulsive behaviors or mental illness — homes that for whatever the reasons were characterized by loss and shame. Repeat After Me was written in the spirit of offering all who were raised in troubled families a process of self-exploration, insight and healing that would lead to a positive change in their lives.

As adults began that process of asking how their childhood was influencing their present day life, the intent was never one of blame but of insight and understanding. It has been the author’s contention that we repeat the life scripts of our family as a result of internalized beliefs and behaviors that were either modeled for us or were a part of our survivorship. We cannot put a painful past history behind us without first owning it. It is not enough to say I came from an alcoholic family or an abusive family. We must go beyond that acknowledgment to see how our internalized beliefs and behaviors have shaped us to be the person we are today. With that in mind Repeat After Me was written.

Repeat After Me is not a book that explains how problems come to be as much as it is a book that takes you through a process of letting go of hurtful beliefs and behaviors. While insight is often the precursor to change, insight alone is not enough for most people to create change. People need to believe they deserve positive change and they need to develop skills that make change occur. While many of the changes in this second edition of Repeat After Me are subtle, it is written to support the reader’s belief in their personal worth and assist them in identifying and focusing on skills. The knowledge that comes in owning the past and connecting it to the present is vital to developing empathy for the strength of both our defenses and skills. It also helps us to lessen our shame and not hold ourselves accountable for the pain we have carried. When we understand the reasons for why we have lived our life as we have, that understanding fuels our ongoing healing. The change we want to create in our life is made most directly as a result of letting go of old, hurtful belief systems and learning new skills. Repeat After Me guides you in this process.

CUSTOMER REVIEWS (Average Customer Rating: 3.5 based on 8 reviews)

Just for Class

I have not read this book, as it is just for my class, and we have not been assigned any part of it, as of this writing. So, I can not review it. Besides, I do would not write a review for a textbook.
June 02, 2008

Repeat After Me is worth the money

This book contains some nice information and is a worthwhile read.

August 09, 2006

"Repeat" is not Realistic

This is a work book designed to help ACOAs break free of the constraints of their upbringing. I am an ACOA and, like you reading my review, wanted to believe that re-training my thinking and outlook through these text book exercises would improve my life. I am sorry to say that is NOT realistic. The book is juvenile and tiresome with it's page after page of lists of feelings and events. Also, it is nothing more than her earlier book "It will never happen to me" with these exercises punctuating each paradigm. My best recommendation would be to purchase her original book and save your time, hope and money by passing over the temptation to commit to Repeat after Me work book. The original book is quite insightful and thought provoking on it's own. Good luck.
May 21, 2005

Recommended by my doctor

I haven't ordered this book yet, but it was recommended my pshyciatrist. As for causing more pain, well, when it comes to matters like these, it's going to happen. I will be using this in conjunction with medication to help me out of my depression, caused by my mentally abusive childhood. It usually gets worse before it gets better...No pain, No gain...I am doing this for me and my family.
May 13, 2004

Excellent book, but proceed with caution

This book is designed to bring issues to the surface, where they can be dealt with. That's a good thing, but it is WORK. I recommend using this book only while in therapy. It may bring up issues that are too difficult to deal with on your own. And some of it may be quite painful for a while. But the process works.
April 22, 2004

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