Product Description
July 15, 1968. It is only three months following the assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr., and the nation is burning. Black and White America are locked in the tense grip of massive change. Into this inferno steps an unsuspecting young White couple. Neither significantly knew even a single African American person while growing up. Now, a child will change all of that forever. In this fateful moment, a Black baby becomes perhaps the first in the history of New Mexico to be adopted by a White family. Here is a brazenly honest glimpse into the mind and heart of that child, a true story for the ages that flows like a soulful river—separated from his mother at birth, placed into foster care, adopted, and finally reunited with his biological family in adulthood—an astounding journey of personal discovery. Jaiya John has opened the floodgates on his own childhood with this piercing memoir. Black Baby White Hands, a waterfall of jazz splashing over the rocks of love, pain and the honoring of family. Magically, this book finds a way to sing as it cries, and to exude compassion even as it dispels well-entrenched myths. This story is sure to find itself well worn, stained by tears, and brushed by laughter in the lap of parents, adolescents, educators, students and professionals. Here comes the rain and the sunshine, all at once.

CUSTOMER REVIEWS (Average Customer Rating: 4.5 based on 36 reviews)

With An Open Mind You Will Be Blessed

As a mother, I believe the messages in this book to be so valuable that I do not want others to miss them. This motivates my following comments. Most of the reviewers here seem to understand the spirit of this book. A few do not. In particular, the two dated prior to my own show a fundamental misunderstanding of what this book is. The author is sharing the journey of emotions and thoughts he went on AS A CHILD. He is not railing at his parents as an adult. He is not complaining, being ungrateful, or feeling sorry for himself. He is doing just the opposite: Trying to show us how a person can take pain and learn how to grow from it, and that even in a "good" family and "good" community adopted children can struggle. This book is humorous and triumphant and loving. His descriptions of his family members are nothing but warm and loving. He is not arguing against transracial adoption but creating a window for better understanding it. I know for a fact that he has worked with thousands of transracially adoptive families in support of their journey. . . . . In the reviews in question, the only bitterness involved is the bitterness of the reviewers. Perhaps they were threatened or made to feel uncomfortable by the rawness and honesty of the book. They were clearly feeling defensive. They seemed to think they were being somehow attacked even though the author seems to go to pains to express his love and gratitude for his family. One of the reviewers admitted she did not even read the second half of the book. If she had, she would have read the part of the story in which John grew to realize that he had turned his struggles into something self-defeating. He realized that he needed to change how he felt about himself and take control of his life, regardless of how others related to him. Hello! It helps to actually read a book if you are going to review it. Not scan through it. Not defensively scour it for offending statements. But open up your mind and heart . . . . . I work with foster and adoptive youth as a social worker. I am a foster mother. I'm not the smartest cookie but I have tried my best to listen to these young people as they share their feelings. I have heard hundreds of them say the same thing over and over again: It is hurtful to be attacked as being ungrateful, complaining, and self-pitying whenever they try to get their parents, social workers, anyone to understand what they are going through. They can't stand it when people say: "Would you rather have stayed in foster care or in that horrible situation with your birth family?" They hear this dismissive comment all the time. We wouldn't say to children raised in their biological family: "Would you rather have not been born?" These children have a right to feel pain, express it, and not be attacked. The reviewers in question spewed out the very same hurtful comments that foster and adoptive youth everywhere have been saying are the worst attitudes we can take with them . . . . . And it does not matter that "any adoptive child" or "any Black child" or "any child in a same-race placement" could feel the same way as John did, as the reviewers snarled. That is not the author's point. His point is this is what HE felt, because of being adopted and being Black in a White environment, and yes, his own nature. His point seems to be that each of these things can leave children more vulnerable and that we need to be aware. He also NEVER claims to be speaking for the experience of other children. I don't know where the reviewers came up with this. It seems to be a result of defensiveness--not wanting to believe anything in the book might apply to their family? This book is a memoir. All it does is tell one child's story . . . . John found the courage to share publicly because he clearly wanted to invite us into a private, poorly understood reality of foster and adopted children so we might LEARN SOMETHING. He wasn't saying anything that I haven't heard many times from other youth separated from their families or who are racially isolated. He was just saying it in a unique and insightful way. A revealing way. So if we would like to dismiss his story as no more than self pity and bitterness, we are doing ourselves a disservice. This is what these children are feeling! Please do not let such reviews discourage you from this or other books. You have to ask yourself about such reviews, are they telling me more about the book or the reviewer? . . . . . I found this book to be very uplifting. It showed me the power of people and families to change and grow. This isn't a cream puff story that treads lightly and delicately on race and culture and family issues. He told his story in a truthful, positive way. He could only have achieved this by being at peace with himself. His story concludes with basically a celebration of how his life has shaped him. Please, find out for yourself. Our attitude as we read a book, and our own sensitivities, can dictate how we experience that book. Try this one with openness.
August 19, 2008

Self-indulgent, Negative and Repetative

I was excited to read this book, but was very dissapointed and personally feel it is way overrated. The language used is supposedly "poetic", but I just found it pretentious and esoteric. More importantly, however, I feel that the author basically took his own experience as an unhappy, isolated child and searching, hyper-sensitive adult (which seemed to me to be more a function of the author's innate personality than the fact that he was transracially adopted... or at least a combination of the two) and used it to negatively represent/unfairly characterize all trans-racial adoption. It seemed to me that this author's emotional difficulties and struggles growing up would have existed even if he had been raised in a same-race home (not that they weren't exacerbated by his racially-based experiences). The impression given by the author is that he speaks for all trans-racially adopted children, and I do not think this is fair or at all accurate. There are of course some things that will apply to others, but his experience, being an unusually intense, emotional child raised in an isolated all-white environment 30 years ago, is completely different from that of a child raised in a more diverse environment in 2008. It would be fine if he simply presented the book as a personal memoir of his own specific experiences in life and left it at that. But that is certainly not the impression the book leaves... and I think it is being presented in some adoption circles as a universal reflection of the experience of any trans-racially adopted child, much to the detriment of today's trans-racial families and waiting children. I hope potential trans-racial adopters will not be so frightened by this one person's experience that they allow themselves to be discouraged from this path. As long as you are prepared to be culturally sensitive to your child, honor his heritage, and commit to making sure there are plenty of same-race role models in his life, trans-racially adopted children can indeed grow up to be healthy and happy and fully attached to their adoptive family. If you are looking for a more balanced view, two much better choices are "The Color of Water" by James McBride or "In Their Own Voices, Transracial Adoptees Tell Their Stories" by Rita Simon and Rhonda Roorda.
May 17, 2008

Pity Party!

Honestly, I only made it half way through the book before I could not stand it anymore. Although the author is a very eloquent writer, his pity party over his life was more then I could bare. He was raised by wonderful loving parents who did the best they could to raise him with all the opportunities, guidance, love and affection they could. He had extended family that loved him and treated him with respect (and by his own admittance, some overcame huge prejudicial upbringings to fully love and accept him as their kin). He had friends that accepted him, and loving siblings. He had a better life then I would say the majority of children growing up in America do. He had enough food on the table, family traditions, safe housing, wonderful memories, and most importantly loving family bonds. Although he was adopted by white parents (the author is black), he himself admits that they rescued him from a neglectful foster home. He came home to them so neglected that his head was flat and his muscles weak. His parents nursed him back to health. He waited 9 long months for a family, and because there were no black placements available, he was adopted by a white family. ANY family is better then living in a negectful foster home. FAMILY is the most important thing! Just ask the children that age out of the foster care sytem without one, 50% end up homeless and on drugs. Yet, this author does nothing but complain about how hard it was to be black in a white family. He gives no real evidence of this, no one treated him badly, he did not have major negative experiences within his family, he just was sensitive and felt insecure. Just think how insecure and unloved he would have felt if he were never adopted. Or stayed with his birthmother who was in no condition to raise another child? His parents moved away from their families to raise their black sons in an environment that was not prejudice. They did the best that they could. But all the author felt was sorry for himself. He was insecure and was always convinced that people did not truly love or accept him, despite their actions. He blamed things like having to share the back, cold room (a room his parents made several attempts to heat and make more comfortable) with his brother because he was black. Please, my husband who was the biological son of white parents slept out in the camper when his family got too big for their home, not because he was unfavored but because he was the eldest boy! I think the author needs to get a life! And realize the blessings that he was given. There is a huge orphan crisis in the world. Millions of children are going to bed hungry with no one to kiss them goodnight. Should we allow them to suffer or should we look beyond race or culture and bring them into good homes, in which they will be loved and valued? Which is the bigger sin, to love someone unconditionally who looks different from you or to allow someone to suffer alone because they are different. This author needs to get over his insecurities and look at all the good things that he had in his life, see how others have to live, and thank his lucky stars. I for one, do not feel sorry for him.
April 08, 2008

More Than Thought - Provoking

This is truly an inspirational book which gives a clear demonstration of how a young black boy grew into a mature black man in a positive manner despite the serious emotional and painful struggles that occured due to a lack of required sensitivity around race. Jaiya's message is important for all adults involved in making critical decisions about the future of children. It provides a hightened awareness for birth parents, foster and adoptive parents and social work professionals. Jaiya's ability to share his experiences is a true blessing for others.

Selena M. Simons
Coordinator of Foster Care - BERMUDA

February 21, 2008

Beautifully Written

Jaiya John shows immense courage as he gives the early details of his life's journey. His sensitivity and honesty triumph as he describes childhood illusion, confusion, and isolation. The way he tells his story, anyone can easily understand and relate to, regardless of background. The poetry throughout is brilliant. I read this book hoping to learn about the perspective of adopted children and children in foster care; I gained the perspective and insight I was seeking, but received much more in the reading of this memoir. I am grateful for the opportunity, and encourage others to experience this compelling story.
October 08, 2007

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