What seems like just a common, no-harm-done excuse-"It's not my fault!"-is often a dangerous trap, say Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend, because people don't recognize what the blaming mindset does to them. It not only keeps them from overcoming the effects of all that they can't control-like other people, circumstances and genetics-but separates them from a solution. And when they give away the ownership of their life, they end up losing the one opportunity they have to fulfill their dreams and enjoy God's best.

Using eight principles, a variety of true stories and their years of experience as professional psychologists, Cloud and Townsend enlighten readers on how to make empowering choices-and how to build the life they want to live. It may seem impossible but it's true: taking personal responsibility is not only liberating, it is the best-and perhaps the only-way for a person to get what they really want out of life.

CUSTOMER REVIEWS (Average Customer Rating: 3.5 based on 3 reviews)

It Certainly IS Your Fault!

In doing research for a book about Biblical Community Life, I purchased this tome as a reference in regard to a group dynamic that would keep believers focused on a discipleship model of becoming accountable. After all, the title led me to believe that the authors would convince me I'm personally responsible for my behavior. I should have known better. As a recovering psychiatric professional, I had become "burned out" over the unremitting emphasis in psychiatric and psychological circles about only one truth -- me, me, me. I expected that a "Christian" book about personal responsibility (about which I wrongly thought this thesis was directed) would help redirect any inertia in a self-centered plane in a new direction. Sigh... I'm sad to say that the good psychologists were very short on Biblical foundations, and big on personal opinion that waxed on and on the in the usual patient-centered narcissism found in most psychobabble related writings. For instance, on page 139 the authors claim that my financial goals should be directed at first paying myself each month, whereas a Biblical approach would first have me paying the Creator his 10%+ out of my gross earnings. And on it goes with the worn-out, TV evangelist-like themes of reaching my goals, making my dreams real, and other shop-worn mottos bandied over the airwaves of the so-called "name and claim it" faith crowd.

True Biblical counseling, as taught by Jay Adams and others who are faithful to their roots in Holy Writ, never stops beating on the G-dly themes of loving G-d and loving my neighbor...first. Even after years of revolution in Christian publishing with the production of untold essays teaching the Biblical priorities of G-d first, family second, and all others third, Townsend and Cloud have failed to even remind us how our families are involved in reaching for our dreams.

"It's Not My Fault" is incorrectly classified under the Christian label on the bookstore shelf. It would be better marketed as a manager's tool for reaching financial success and one's personal objectives in the climb up the corporate ladder. This book is about self and selfishness. The accountability to one's mentors is not taught as one tool of sanctification to help me reach higher in levels of holiness. This is a pop psychology thesis wholly (not "holy") directed toward the usual overriding theme of what I want for me, now.

Very sad.
February 04, 2008

Solves the Problem!

I don't think I realized I was making excuses. After all, I had many VALID REASONS for my poor performance in many areas. But this book helped me immensely to understand that even when I have valid reasons (and sometimes invalid ones) there is still only one way to solve the problem, and that is to tackle it head on. This book gave me lots of useful, easy to understand tools for overcoming long-standing difficulties. Since I read the book last February, I've lost 25 pounds, improved my career, my parenting, and have begun making progress in many other areas which have proven difficult for me for years. I love this book and actually, I've already read it three times!
September 12, 2007

It's Not My Fault: The No-Excuse Plan for Overcoming Life's Obstades

I was a little hesitant about this book when I was first told about it. I mean really "It's Not My Fault" was not my motto in life, but a good friend had read it and shared that it would be good read for me. After reading just the first few chapters I realized that many of the things I blamed (not realizing I was blaming) on my childhood, teachers, even my pastors were things that I could change now for myself and stop this blaming game. I really think everyone should read this book, be it for yourself or to better understand those around you it is a win-win read.
May 09, 2007

SIMILAR PRODUCTS

Changes That Heal: How to Understand the Past to Ensure a Healthier Future
by Henry Cloud

9 Things You Simply Must Do to Succeed in Love and Life: A Psychologist Learns from His Patients What Really Works and What Doesn't
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The Secret Things of God: Unlocking the Treasures Reserved for You
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Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life
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Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't
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