| View Larger Image | Whose Face Is in the Mirror?: The Story of One Woman's Journey from the Nightmare of Domestic Abuse to True Healing | Paperbackby Dianne Schwartz (Author)
| List Price: | $13.95 | | Price: | $7.86 | | You Save: | $6.09 (44%) | | | Available: | Usually ships in 24 hours |
| | Binding: | Paperback | | Publisher: | Hay House | | Page Count: | 253 Pages | | Publication Date: | March 01, 2000 | | Sales Rank: | 508,167th |
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FEATURES | - ISBN13: 9781561706389
- Condition: NEW
- Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.
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EDITORIAL REVIEWS |
Product Description
Dianne shares the trauma involved in living with an abuser, and takes you with her during the gradual process that allowed her to escape from the nightmare and move toward true healing. |
CUSTOMER REVIEWS (Average Customer Rating: 5.0 based on 11 reviews)
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Domestic Violence Memoir is Helpful to Victims by Lynn C. Tolson (Colorado)  5 Stars
September 28, 2009
Whose Face is in the Mirror was one of the first books I read on the topic of domestic violence. Since I am an author of a similar story Beyond the Tears: A True Survivor's Story , Whose Face is in the Mirror was recommended to me by a professor of social work who had heard Dianne Schwartz speak about domestic violence. At the time of my initial reading, in 2001, the book seemed to be one of a small number of real-life stories of recovery from abuse. It is a heart-wrenching story about domestic violence, and equally important is its heart-warming message of hope.
The book is divided into three parts. In Part I, Dianne shares the abuse she endured from her husband (at the time). She tells the story so that other victims realize they are not alone. Part II covers Dianne's journey to healing through therapy. She reveals the lessons she learned from her therapist. Her insights help others understand the causes and effects of domestic abuse. Schwartz also admits mistakes she made as a mother, as she reflects on how domestic abuse affects children. In Part III, Dianne explains the ongoing process of a healing journey. She encourages readers to find a mission based not on ego and pride, but on love and compassion.
While reading this book, you will see how domestic abuse emerges and escalates. You may also realize that the reasons for staying in an abusive relationship are perhaps excuses that prevent change. Dianne reveals the advice that did not work (such as pray, fast, and submit). Then, she tells how she left her abusive husband, and what she did to reclaim her identity. She explains how the use of bright, feminine colors helped her to define herself authentically, and not as an appendage of an abusive man. In chapter 18, "Lies and Truths", Ms. Schwartz explains the stereo-types and myths that keeps us trapped in toxic relationships, and how to improve our perspective.
Whose Face is in the Mirror is a memoir about domestic violence that is not graphic, dramatic, or sensationalized. We might expect a former Mrs. Arizona, Dianne Schwartz, to write about her glamorous life of a celebrity; instead, we learn of a survivor of domestic violence who founded an organization to educate on the topic: Educating Against Domestic Violence.
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One Woman's Journey Through a Nightmare by !Edwin C. Pauzer (New York City)  3 Stars
June 18, 2009
"Whose Face is in the Mirror" is the story of Dianne Schwartz's journey through the living hell of domestic violence, and how she was lucky enough to extricate herself from her abuser and a domineering father.
By writing about her personal experience, Ms. Schwartz wanted to purge the experience from her soul but also reach out to other souls suffering through the same. As such, this book reads like a woman-to-woman talk which isn't what I bargained for when I picked it up from Amazon. But the book wasn't meant to please me as it was to help other women. Touche! She directs many responses toward the illusory beliefs and self-defeating mechanism victims have, leading them to more realistic and healthy thought processes. While her narrative would leave me high and dry when she described how she bought a white-wicker bed and dishes with pink flowers on them; I would try to concentrate on the facts at hand.
But besides all the pink that was beginning to make me see red, the author included a number of self-help sources for domestic violence, gambling, alcohol, drugs, etc., their addresses, and phone numbers of which some might have surely changed since 1999. It is also clear that Dianne Schwartz credited a lot of her well-being to her spirituality and belief in a higher power, as well as the help she was able to get from a psychotherapist. From some of the face-to-face interactions she described she had with her abuser, I was a little bit surprised that she was left alive to tell her story. That means she was also an extremely lucky lady from the ultimate form of control.
Having once been assigned to write a training program on prevention of domestic violence, I thought this book might provide new information or knowledge, but it added very little. The subject matter expert who assisted me had been raped by a stranger, and abused by a partner. That was just as real as the author's story, but it was still draining as women began to cry in class when some of them suddenly realized I was describing them. Dianne Schwartz, author, reaches a far larger audience as she tours around the country accepting one speaking engagement after another to anyone who will listen. (Well done, lady)!
I don't necessarily suggest you buy THIS book, but please, don't ignore domestic violence. It is your business; it's also a crime.
P.S. Women are statistically safer in city parks at night then they are in their own homes. More than 4,000 will die this year from domestic violence.
Women who killed their abusers have averaged 15-25 years in jail.
Men who killed their victims have averaged 2-3 years behind bars.
Approximately 1.5 million women will be raped or physically assaulted by an intimate partner this year.
More than 800,000 men will be raped or assaulted by an intimate partner this year.
One out of ten teens will experience a physical assault or date rape.
One in four visits to the emergency room will be due to domestic violence.
Men who are physically violent towards their partners are likely to be sexually violent towards their children.
Despite pleas from prominent personalities and civic leaders, Governor George W. Bush allowed the execution of a woman who killed her husband after having been brutally beaten by him for eighteen years.
This is for you, Sherry.
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A heroine's transformation by Darlene Lancer (Santa Monica, CA) 5 Stars
April 05, 2009
Dianne is a brave role model for abused women. She well understands and explains the motives, behavior, and manipulations of both the batterer and the victim, but never sounds like a victim, only a heroine. Therapy gave her the courage to make changes and speak truth to power, despite how dangerous her husband was. Her transformation is truly amazing and inspiring. As a therapist, I highly recommend this book to clients and professionals.
Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT
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Abuse knows no favorites by E. Dian Moore (Moundsville, WV USA) 5 Stars
September 27, 2005
She had it all. Good looks. Her own business. Even a Mrs. Arizona title. But Dianne Schwartz hid a gruesome secret. She was a victim of continued physical abuse by her first husband. How does a seemingly successful, beautiful woman fall into the snare of an abuser? Schwartz tells us, beginning with childhood issues that evolved into setting her up as a victim for domestic violence.
In the preface to Whose Face is in the Mirror, the author introduces us to an essential part of healing from abuse-ridding oneself of shame. Through her story, Schwartz seeks to share her abuse, insight into how and why she came to be abused, her steps to recovery and her ongoing journey and encouragement to other survivors of abuse.
Painful at times, this true story rings more than true - it resonates within the soul. We all have known a woman just like Dianne Schwartz - a woman who we shake our heads at and wonder, "Is she nuts? Why does she listen to that loser? Why does she go back? How can she trust him again?" No, Dianne isn't nuts, and neither is any other woman caught in the deadly game of domestic abuse. For the abuser, it's just that: a game of control. For the victim, however, it's a test of survival.
Whose Face is one short portrait into the lives of the abused and the abuser. It shows the damage done to children. It brings out childhood issues that might contribute to one's being abused. It provides answers and courage to take the steps to safety, to life.
Schwartz's no-nonsense approach is a wakeup call to women who are being abused. She challenges the many abuse victims in today's world to look in the mirror and recognize the part they play in being abused. For without a victim, the abuser cannot abuse. She exposes the lies that litter an abusive relationship, such as:
* He will change.
* We cause him to be angry and abusive.
* We want people to like our spouse (so we cover for him).
* I'm nothing without him.
* I can't make it on my own.
* I deserve to be beaten. I'm useless.
* All men are terrible.
* No other man will be attracted to me.
* I stay because I love him.
* My children need their father.
Schwartz doesn't stop there. For every lie, she exposes the truth and gives real-world answers to getting out and staying safe.
In Part Three of Whose Face, Schwartz details the healing process, including recognizing the signs of an abuser. More importantly, she educates women, through her own process of healing, of how to recognize if they are attracted to an abuser. Some of the personality traits an abuser attracter might have are:
* The need to rescue.
* Accepting abuse during the dating stage.
* A dysfunctional family history of verbal or physical abuse.
Schwartz goes several steps further and looks into the effects our abuse may be having on our children. Are we setting our children up to be either abused or to be an abuser?
Healing from abuse is not something to be done alone. Schwartz's life example illustrates the importance of therapy and recognizing a Higher Power - in Schwartz's case, that power is God. Through therapy and God, she discovered her passion in life and finally recognized whose face was in the mirror. After 42 years of living with self-hatred, this woman chose to heal, and to share her journey to self-love.
Today, Schwartz is the founder and president of Educating Against Domestic Violence, a nonprofit organization providing assistance to battered persons. She is happily and healthily married and continues to heal, as are her children.
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A must read for women dealing with any form of abuse...... by Patty Jennings (T. Oklahoma USA) 5 Stars
July 21, 2002
Dianne's husband was verbally and emotionally abusive and also a batterer, but no matter what form of abuse you are dealing with this book is one you must read, because all forms of abuse are damaging to the body, mind, and spirit. As a survivor of domestic abuse this book helped renew my strength and helped me keep my resolve not to return. There were so many aspects of Dianne's story that I could relate to; from the struggle she had with leaving, to the emotional damage done to her spirit, to the extreme conditioning that happens in abusive relationships. Dianne is a true survivor and her very candid and honest approach in telling her story will help any woman, whether she is just coming to terms with the fact that she is being abused, just gathering the strength to leave, or has already gotten out and needs the validation and strength that comes from reading about others who have been there.
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