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EDITORIAL REVIEWS

Product Description
Stop Walking on Eggshells: Coping When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder is a self-help guide that helps the family members and friends of individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD) understand this self-destructive disorder and learn what they can do to cope with it and take care of themselves. It is designed to help them understand how the disorder affects their loved ones and recognize what they can do to get off the emotional roller coasters and take care of themselves.

CUSTOMER REVIEWS (Average Customer Rating: 4.5 based on 174 reviews)

very enlightening book by charmaine

5 Stars
June 21, 2009
I recomend this book for anyone who feels as though they are living with a person suffering with BPD. I just wish it gave a little more info on how to protect children from a parent with many of these problems.

This book helped me communicate with my bipolar sisters by Wendy Chaikin (New York)

5 Stars
June 20, 2009
I was having frustrating circular conversations with my sister as we navigated through a family crisis involving another sister. Both are diagnosed bipolar, not BPD. However, many of the behaviours and communication challenges presented in the book applied. This book helped me to better understand my sisters, how to set boundaries and communicate in a more supportive and loving way. The knowledge I gained from this book helped me to reduce my stress and communicate more effectively.

A Must Read for Anyone in a Dysfunctional Relationship by Thomas G. Fiffer (Westport, CT)

5 Stars
June 19, 2009
As someone who recently escaped from a 15-year marriage to a dysfunctional partner, I consider Stop Walking on Eggshells a must read for anyone in a dysfunctional relationship. It opened my eyes to what had been happening to me and helped put me on the road to recovery and taking back my life.

[...]

Dated, inaccurate and dangerous by JDinNY (New York, New York)

1 Stars
June 08, 2009
Enormous strides been made in understanding BPD since 1998 when "Stop Walking on Eggshells" was published. From a 2009 perspective, we can now recognize that "Stop Walking" is (through no fault of its no-doubt well-intentioned 1998 authors) so deeply flawed that it's dangerous. Today, more accurate, updated, constructive, and practical books written by more intelligent, highly qualified professionals allow the reader to benefit from the insights uncovered by research since "Stop Walking" was written.

As of the date of this review (June 2009), I recommend the following: Alex Chapman, Ph.D & Kim Gratz, Ph.D., "The Borderline Personality Disorder Survival Guide" (Nov. 2007). The Borderline Personality Disorder Survival Guide. Matthew McKay, Ph.D, Jeffrey Wood, Psy.D. & Jeffrey Brantley, M.D., "Dialectical Behavior Therapy Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises" (July 2007). Dialectical Behavior Therapy Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, & Distress Tolerance (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook)

Better stuff might come along after the date of this review, because the latest clinical research shows that Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) and the right combination of psychotherapeutic medications are yielding better results for people with BPD and their loved ones than ever before. DBT has proven a breakthrough in coping with BPD, but has been widely available for only a few years. Thus BPD books pre-dating mid-2007 are now at best misleading and potentially dangerous.

Despite its recent publication and high ratings from a handful of Amazon users, "The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder: New Tools and Techniques to Stop Walking on Eggshells" (2008) is marred by most of the same misinformation and omissions as the 1998 "Stop Walking on Eggshells." The 2008 book is written by Randi Kreger LMSW, one of the authors of the 1998 companion, so it's no coincidence that the new book's title echoes the old one's. This also helps explain why the new book's analysis is so out-dated. Kreger relies on the 1998 books's foundation, but fails to acknowledge that that the foundation has rotted in the intervening decade. For the similar reasons, Kreger's 2002 "Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook," which garners an average 5-star review from 20 Amazon readers as of this date, is full of recipes for eggshell omelettes--that is, dysfunctional relationships. Non-BPD reviewers heap praise on Kregers's work because it helps them not resolve their dysfunctional relationships with BPD loved ones, but extricate themselves from them, and as the book's subtitle indicates "Take...Back" their "Lives" from the BPD people. Some reviewers imply that their relationships ended. The most compassionate reviewers express "pity" for BPD people, but no consciousness of potential ways to overcome both the BPD's and the non-BPD's suffering or the dysfunction in their relationship.

None of Kreger's three books are about resolving problems. They're about helping the non-BPD reader gain distance from the problem--the person with BPD. Don't learn to walk. "Stop Walking."

Whenever you're reading this review, here are a few thoughts about how you might find the best currently available BPD books. Consider:

(a) not only the the recency of publication (though that's important), but also

(b) the CREDENTIALS of the authors. I have no reason to be unreasonably biased in favor of Ph.D.'s. I don't have one and personally know only a few people who do. The fact is that Ph.D.'s, Psy.D's and M.D.'s are far more competitive programs to gain entry to and require triple to quadruple the years of training to complete as compared to the 2-year "Master of Social Work" (MSW) degree. All of the authors of the more popular but poorly researched "Stop Walking" series have MSW's, while all the authors of the other two books recommended above (the superior research quality and practicality of which is evident on every page) have Ph.D.'s, Psy.D.'s or M.D.'s. Credentials aren't everything, but they seem worth at least some consideration.

(c) the publishers (whose reputations can be discerned through a quick Google search); and

(d) if possible, the quality of the text, as determined by using Amazon's "Look Inside" feature. Is the text coherent and supported by reference to scientific research?

[...]
Kreger's site is slick and commercial, much more eye catching than Chapman's c.v. page, but Kreger is all about selling Kreger's products. In contrast to Chapman, Kreger isn't involved in cutting-edge BPD and DBT research. It's not hard to imagine why Kreger sells more books, but it's very hard to imagine that anyone who informs herself or himself about the respective authors would choose to read Kreger over Chapman. Kreger's primary goal is to make money. Chapman's are to advance accurate understandings of BPD and potential treatments.

In sum, if you think you have BPD or know someone who does, now you have more reason than ever to hope that the challenge can be met. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (especially when combined with psychotherapeutic medication) is yielding more success than ever before. Whether you're the BPD person or someone who cares about one, the first step, if you haven't taken it, is to get past the blame. Increasingly, evidence reveals that BPD is hard-wired but treatable. Like all disorders and illnesses, physical and mental (and the mental is physical), all affected by it are victims, including people with BPD and those who love and care about them. Based on current social science, pyschiatric and psychological research, it appears that there is hope and help for all victims of BPD. The tragedy of the "Stop Walking" series is that the books encourage the non-BPD's to seek an "out" and for themselves only, not help and not true resolution of the problem.

Disappointing by Tallahasee Sally (Northeast)

2 Stars
June 02, 2009
While this publication does a good job of describing the issues associated with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), the behavior, and the disorder itself, it falls far short when it comes to addressing "Taking Your Life Back...." In fact, my daughter and I both read the book and both felt that it was more about how to tiptoe around the person with the disorder than it was about effective strategies for victims to implement to prevent this destructive pattern of behavior from impacting them. If you want to learn how to tiptoe around the landmines the BP person sets - which you are no doubt already doing - rather than learning how to send the clear message that setting landmines in the first place is unacceptable, then buy the book.

SIMILAR PRODUCTS

	I Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality by Jerold J. Kreisman (Author), Hal Straus (Author) "AM I LOSING MY MIND?" People with Borderline Personality Disorderexperience such violent and frightening mood swingsthat they often fear for their sanity. They can beeuphoric one moment, despairing and depressed thenext. There are an estimated 10 million sufferersof BPD living in America today -- each displayingremarkably similar symptoms: a shaky sense of identity sudden violent outburstsoversensitivity to real or imagined rejection brief, turbulent love affairsfrequent periods of...
	The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook: Practical Strategies for Living With Someone Who Has Borderline Personality Disorder by Randi Kreger (Author), James Paul Shirley (Author) Randi Kreger draws on extensive new research to provide advice for successfully navigating life with someone who has borderline personality disorder. Step-by-step suggestions--many from users of the author's comprehensive website-- help readers set and enforce personal limits, communicate clearly, cope with put-downs and rage, develop a safety plan, and make realistic decisions. Throughout the text are worksheets, checklists, and exercises that build on one another and enable readers to...
	Surviving a Borderline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds & Build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem by Kimberlee Roth (Author), Freda B. Friedman (Author), Randi Kreger (Foreword) Although relatively common, Borderline Personality Disorder, or BPD, is often overlooked or misdiagnosed by therapists and clinicians and denied by those who suffer from it. Symptoms of this tragic problem include unpredictability, violence and uncontrollable anger, deep depression and self-abuse. Parents with BPD are often unable to provide for the basic physical and emotional needs of their children. In an ironic and painful role reversal, BPD parents can actually raise children to be...
	Sometimes I Act Crazy: Living with Borderline Personality Disorder by Jerold J. Kreisman M.D. (Author), Hal Straus (Author) A source of hope, expert advice, and guidance for people with borderline personality disorder and those who love them Do you experience frightening, often violent mood swings that make you fear for your sanity? Are you often depressed? Do you engage in self-destructive behaviors such as drug or alcohol abuse, anorexia, compulsive eating, self-cutting, and hair pulling? Do you feel empty inside, or as if you don't know who you are? Do you dread being alone and fear abandonment? Do...
	The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder: New Tools and Techniques to Stop Walking on Eggshells by Randi Kreger (Author) For family members of people with borderline personality disorder (BPD), home life is routinely unpredictable and frequently unbearable. Extreme mood swings, impulsive behaviors, and suicidal tendencies—common conduct among those who suffer from the disorder—leave family members feeling confused, hurt, and helpless. In her pioneering first book Stop Walking on Eggshells, co-authored with Paul T. Mason, Randi Kreger outlined the fundamental differences in the way that people...