| View Larger Image | Domestic Violence: The 12 Things You Aren't Supposed to Know | Paperbackby Thomas B. James (Author)
| List Price: | $16.95 | | Price: | $13.22 | | You Save: | $3.73 (22%) | | | Available: | Usually ships in 24 hours |
| | Binding: | Paperback | | Publisher: | Aventine Press | | Page Count: | 292 Pages | | Publication Date: | November 28, 2003 | | Sales Rank: | 662,523nd |
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EDITORIAL REVIEWS |
Product Description
Is domestic violence strictly a male phenomenon? Are all women who abuse their partners acting in self-defense? Is domestic violence about male privilege, power and control? In this book, the author conducts a meticulous and thorough examination of the research on domestic violence, coming to the unsettling conclusion that virtually everything we think we know about domestic abuse is wrong. Exposing evidence of a deliberate governmental campaign to distort the truth and proliferate lies, Mr. James explains why honesty and candor are our only real hope for bringing an end to this enormous social problem. |
CUSTOMER REVIEWS (Average Customer Rating: 4.0 based on 14 reviews)
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Male victims exist by hispana de corazón (TN)  4 Stars
March 28, 2008
I work in a domestic violence program. I got interested in this work not only because I was a victim of psychological abuse in a previous relationship, but mostly because my husband was a victim of not only emotional and psychological abuse, but also physical abuse. His ex-wife would knock him unconscious with metal bars and ran him over with her car. She would hit him and scratch him whenever she could. Thankfully he only has some small scars and minimal mental impairment from his experiences with her. The thing I have found with him and other male victims I have met in the course of my work is that they almost never report. I don't know if it is a sense of shame or fear, all I know is that female towards male abuse does happen, but you rarely hear anything about it. Are more physical abusers men? Yes. Does this mean that women don't physically abuse? No.
The courts prosecute physical abuse, but what about emotional and psychological abuse? The victims (mostly female) I work with tell me that when their abusers beat them, it hurt, but the deepest scars they have and those they don't know if they will survive are the emotional and psychological scars. How many couples have you seen where all you hear is the woman criticizing and putting down her partner? She may not be hitting him physically, but how do you think he feels? How is his psyche affected? He is even less likely to report that or to leave. Even if he did try to report or tell someone, wouldn't most people just make fun of him? Male victims are mostly stuck. I try to help them when I find them, but most of them are too embarrassed or afraid to accept my or anyone else's assistance.
I do want to address the tone that some of the men have used in their comments. It is true that there are male victims and many, but we can't forget the thousands and probably millions of female victims out there. They suffer greatly and they still need all the help we can give them. We need to includes services for abused men, but not at the expense of our services for women.
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Reality Check for BOTH Genders, and more importantly, all members of our Society by J. Holtzinger (Lost in California)  5 Stars
August 01, 2007
To the female who gives this book one star because she has been touched by domestic violence, I say, your emotional response is the need to understand the blatant sexism of the DV industry. Just because your gender is female, and you were affected/effected by DV, does NOT mean DV is limited in all cases to a man commits offence against woman. That may well have been the reality in your situation, but does not by default solve the deeper issue, which is a failure of the male/female dynamic across millions of people to resolve relationship dynamics issues without resorting to socially undesirable behavior. This is the type of emotively driven response to a situation which creates the base upon which propaganda is allowed to grow. Ever study the rise of Adolf Hitler? Hitler needed the frustrations of the German populace, and its search for easy answers and scapegoats, for his propaganda to root, and for his power and unquestioned leadership to grow to where he could accomplish his truly nefarious agendas. If I sound paranoid, good, I hope to shout if from the rooftops of the world, what is happening in the West at this point in time smacks of Sexual Fascism.
VAWA, VAWA II, IMBRA, and the host of swept-in legislation are nothing more than built upon a false propaganda that women are always victims and "passive recipients" (remember this type of concept from Freidan? and her anger over it? Even Betty Freidan once made a remark regarding DV between her and her husband that she was "no wallflower," although revisionists of her writings gloss over this, and continue to position her as a passive victim of abuse) of domestic violence, and men are completely responsible for the discord in a family home (how utterly patriachal! But if you think about it, THIS IS WHAT THIS legislation paradoxically presupposes. Welcome to the underlying contradictions in more radical feminism. Equality and power up until something goes wrong, then the man is presumed at fault, and the woman is a victim and entitled to compensation. What an INSULT to the individual strength and spirit of truly deserving individuals, REGARDLESS of gender. Both for the women who do deserve and earn their place in society on virtue of merit and contribution, not the false cards of victimization and entitlement, and also for men who are affected by such subterfuge).
It should have been the Domestic Violence Act. Not Violence Against Women Act. Then a public discourse over proactive, preventative measures could have been made, and the act would have actually been constitutional, and real scientific inquiry could be made into PROACTIVE and PREVENTATIVE ways to resolve situations which lead to unhealthy and undesired human interaction. REACTIVITY and the simple solution of determining a presumption of Abuser/Victim based upon gender and mandatory punishment and labelling is not helping to promote successful gender-rooted relationships, or family structures, or healthy homes for children.
The numbers in more scientific studies are clear. DV is a 60/40 matter when it involves physical confrontation. Why does Senator Biden's babies assume its 100%/0%? Pandering for votes, folks, and national publicity to make a bigger run one day. I would quit my job to campaign against this delusional man's condescending bone-toss to the feminist cause. The DV industry expands the definition of DV to insults and loud arguments. If that's true, I think the numbers are at best neck and neck. Women are more likely to abuse the children in the house than the male. Yes, I hear the argument women generally spend more time with children than the men. True, in the general population. Women are not by gender alone the protector of the family unit--2 out of 3 divorces are initiated by women. And regardless of deeper moral issues of abortion, 1 in 3 women in the U.S. will abort during their lifetime, leading to the question of why such a need for abortion, at least a couple of magnitudes higher than what the scientific evidence would suggest for responsible birth control usage. We need better, more responsible, more proactive answers, not only for the majority gender of our population and voting caucus (females, in case you don't know), but for society as a whole.
The idea that gender alone, namely being born female, assumes an individual a stronger position of emotional and moral superiority is smug and presumptuous. Is this the matriachal counter to the spectre of patriachal society I hear so much about? Physiologically, we are obviously different. This is science. This is nature. Nature clearly requires women to be the biological early nurturers of human life. This is an incredible responsibility if/when realized, and there is nothing EQUAL between the genders in that matter, in the issue of human sexual procreation purpose. Is that so hard to state in these matters? Perhaps these differences should be more deeply explored. The attraction of the sexes occurs at a deeper level than cognitive thought. Society needs to go deeper, and build a stronger foundation, otherwise, no matter how beautiful the building, it ends up being a leaning tower of Pisa.
The issue is not equality. Levels of influence, levels of affluence, in terms of society, should always be earned by an individual's value of contribution to society. The issue is EQUALITY OF OPPORTUNITY! I'm no utopian thinker, I realize in practice how the amoral nature of power must always be balanced against the welfare of society as a whole. Mancur Olsen's writings on the economic nature of feudalism evolving into capitalism come into play. The second wave of feminism's attraction to Marxist throught, whether outright or thinly veiled, is not effective or efficient in practice.
Books like this are essential for undoing a big web of lies and unsuported propaganda which in practice has the potential of doing much more harm than good to the fabric of our society.
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Major Distortion of Domestic Violence by Caleb Bissett (Pittsburgh, PA)  1 Stars
May 15, 2007
As a straight, white, heterosexual male from a red state, but who also works with Domestic Violence victims, I can assure you that Mr. James is well off the mark with this book. Though it would be nice if the stats were skewed and men were truly less responsible for violence in the household, it is simple not the case. This book is irresponsible scholarship, and a prime example of the type of prejudice that exists against the DV movement as a whole. It is no longer a "feminist" issue, but rather a "family" issue. Domestic Violence is a serious matter, that deserves serious scholarship, and this book does not meet that standard.
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Got a Question by Occifer_Onion (Philadelphia, PA)  3 Stars
February 22, 2007
Are any of the men reviewing this book or the author of the book victims of DV? Haven't read it, but I was wondering. If that is the case, you have my attention.
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The 12 Things You Aren't Supposed to Know! by R. King (Vermont) 5 Stars
February 27, 2006
A book of this type has been lacking for a long, long time!
Written by a MAN!
This is a newer book that looks at domestic violence from both the male perspective and the female perspective!
The law enforcement community should be required to read this book in its entirety. Most of the books being today used are way out of date.
An excellent read for anyone that deals with domestic violence.
It's a good read for people that aren't involved in domestic violence, as it possibly could open their eyes to their friends, neighbors, and relatives difficulties.
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