Product Description
Compelling and heartrending, this personal memoir chronicles the author's decision not to put her mother, who has Alzheimer's and Parkinson's disease, in "one of those homes" and relays the far-reaching consequences this choice has on her entire family. Detailing the challenges of reversing roles and learning to mother one's own mother, this refreshing and entertaining autobiography will help those struggling with their own decisions on elder care in the home. It touches on the importance of relationships—such as how they impact our souls and beliefs about ourselves and the quality of life—and explores the larger questions of faith, hope, and ultimately death.

CUSTOMER REVIEWS (Average Customer Rating: 5.0 based on 48 reviews)

Touching by Jane Gordon-james (Aubrey, TX United States)

5 Stars
July 20, 2009
This book was hard to read at times, but there is humor to counter the sadness. I am going through a similar problem with my mother and reading Carol O'Dell's book helped put everything in perspective.

An Extremely Difficult Mother by John Thorndike (Athens, OH United States)

4 Stars
July 15, 2009
The adjectives in the subtitle---A Daughter's Humorous and Heartbreaking Memoir--reek of sales and promotion, and put me off for six months as the book sat on my Alzheimer's shelf unread. One idle evening I finally picked it up--and found that in fact, the book was both humorous and heartbreaking. Occasionally humorous, I should say. Because underneath Carol O'Dell's lively delivery are some brutal scenes about her mother: a minister, a woman of God, a demanding and racially-prejudiced virago who is nevertheless the author's adoptive mother, and therefore loved. The book is composed of scenes, one tumbling after another, not always chronological. One day Novelene DeVault tells her daughter, "I know you'd never put me in a nursing home." And no, Carol O'Dell doesn't want to do that, for when still a child she was made to swear that she would never do so. But now her mother adds, "I was smart. I got you so you could take care of me in my old age." There are lines in the book that stopped me dead. It happened as well when I read, "I'm remembering the times she'd lose her temper when I was a child, slapping me across the face." What a mother. Yet O'Dell is strong enough as a writer to make us care for her regardless. Novelene is a difficult Alzheimer's patient, sliding miserably toward death--but she's suffering herself, even more than the family taking care of her. "I'm so lost," she tells her daughter one day, a sorrow and softness coming over her. "You don't know what it's like to feel lost." O'Dell has given us a good idea of what it's like, for both patient and caretaker.

Soul Soothing! by FurryFamilyCircus

5 Stars
June 11, 2009
As I am presently walking on that difficult, exhausting and yet often rewarding road of caregiving, I accidentally (if there is such a thing) stumbled across Carol O'Dell's website and subsequently her book. I live in Europe where books like these are few and far between and was grateful to have it sent via Amazon to my little corner of the world. My gratitude has no boundaries. A lot of my emotions that I wouldn't have dared to voice to anyone (except to maybe my saintly husband and my ever patient journal) are beautifully and eloquently described here. Mothering Mother truly has soothed my exhausted soul, and I am profoundly relieved that I can take this book, open it randomly and find myself again and again. It must have cost so much courage and tears to write it, but it is obviously touching and enlightening a lot of people. I have already given it away twice to people who are also mothering mothers - and their perceptions of being solitary soldiers were changed. Please, buy this book if you are a caregiver and feel alone! You are not.

Caring for Mother by Linda J. Babcock (NJ)

5 Stars
May 27, 2009
wonderful, compassionate book; so on-point; I'm living through this with my own mother - very helpful

so true, so true... by Vic (Virginia)

5 Stars
January 23, 2009
As someone who is "mothering mother" after a massive stroke, I laughed, I cried, and I understood sooooo much of the feelings behind this book. I deal with much of this every day...except my mother can't get around at all on her own. I use to think that was a horrible thing, but after reading this book, sometimes I think that may not be such a bad thing since she is more like a small child now. It's so hard to watch our mothers be the one who needs mothering when we aren't ready not to need our mothers ourselves....... Terrific book! Thanks so much to the author for making me not feel so guilty about the times I get frustrated and tired.

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