| View Larger Image | The Forgetting - A Portrait of Alzheimer's | DVDStarring: Linda Hunt, David Hyde Pierce
Directed By: Elizabeth Arledge
Also With: Erich Roland (Cinematographer), Doug Quade (Editor)
| List Price: | $24.98 | |
| | Binding: | DVD | | Rating: |  | | Run Time: | 90 minutes | | Format: | Closed-captioned, Color, DVD, NTSC | | Studio: | Pbs Home Video | | Number of Discs: | 1 | | Aspect Ratio: | 1.33:1 | | Release Date: | January 20, 2004 | | Sales Rank: | 104,426th |
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CUSTOMER REVIEWS (Average Customer Rating: 5.0 based on 6 reviews)
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Great Training Tool by R. Sipes (Kansas City, MO USA)  5 Stars
July 10, 2007
I am currently using this video as an aid during training sessions with home health workers. It really brings home to them what they are experiencing in their day to day contact with dementia and Alzheimer's patients. This video is a must see for anyone dealing with Alzheimer's!
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Remember to See "The Forgetting" by Robert Tell (Farmington Hills, Michigan) 5 Stars
April 16, 2006
"The Forgetting" will help all caregivers to cope with the loss of their loved ones as cognitively sound individuals. If reading about this awful disease is powerful, witnessing it visually in a documentary like this is even more so. Dementia is a disease that knows no boundaries. It is blind to the categories in which we usually place our fellow human beings. It can occur at the age of 55 or 85. It can happen to Blacks, Whites, Hispanics, Asians, Jews, Christians, Muslims, males and females, rich and poor. It has not spared ex-presidents. Tears are shed by husbands and wives, sons and daughters, brothers and sisters-in fact anyone responsible for the care of a loved one with dementia. I speak from personal experience. Dementia did not spare my mother whose 15 year journey into the opaque fog of multi-infarct dementia is told in my own recently published memoir. I recommend "The Forgetting" to anyone whose loved one is experiencing this terrible disease.
Robert Tell, Author of "DEMENTIA DIARY, A Care Giver's Journal"
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powerful, memorable and honest by Rosemary Thornton (Norfolk, VA) 5 Stars
January 15, 2006
October 2005, I spent several days at the bedside of my beloved Auntie, waiting for her to pass on. It was the end of a very long road for us. Those last few days, sitting at her bedside in a St. Louis nursing home, I prayed for her, held her hand, stroked her face and arms and even crawled up in her bed so that I could hold her in my arms and tell her how much I loved her.
On a sunny, brisk Tuesday morning, I was holding her hand when she took her last breath and left for heaven.
When she passed on, I stood there and wept. For the next hour, all I could think was, "Thank God, it's over. Thank God, it's over. Thank God, she's free."
Auntie had Alzheimer's for many, many years. I'd been her caretaker and advocate and power-of-attorney for the last five years.
All in all, it was light duty, as she was in a nursing home. I was the one who mended her clothes, kept her wheelchair tires pumped up, had conniption fits when she wasn't properly cared for (and scared the nursing staff into caring for her more properly!), sang her songs, gave her hugs, clipped her toenails, reviewed her medical chart once a month, talked to the doctors and nurses and inspected her body once a month for bruises and sores and anything else.
In 2002, when a family member came to town for a visit, I urged him to "come visit Auntie" and he obliged. After 60 seconds with her, he turned and ran back outside saying only, "I can't deal with this. I love her too much to see this."
That's when I learned more about what love really looks like. As St. Augustine said, "What does love look like? It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men. It has the eyes to see misery and want. That is what love looks like."
And that's what this movie really brought out. True love - real love - is taking care of someone when they sink into the abyss of Alzheimer's. It's having the moral courage to hold someone's hand and stay with them, mentally, physically and emotionally, even when all that you know of them seems to have disappeared.
That said, it was almost impossible for me to watch this powerful documentary. Too close. Too painful. Too honest. But it was also a relief and a comfort. To know that my most secret prayers and thoughts and hopes (that caused me pain and guilt and regret), were the same prayers and thoughts and hopes that others experienced when dealing with this diseaase.
For instance, during the last week of Auntie's life, I caught myself praying *intensely* that she would pass soon. When the full force of that prayer hit me - the realization that I was praying *for* someone's death - I jumped up and ran outside and sat by the duckpond in front of the nursing home. Tears rolled down my face as I stared aimlessly at the small pond in front of me.
What was I doing? Praying for my beloved auntie to die? What kind of person am I to ask for such a thing? I'd been entrusted with her care and here I was asking God to end her life??
And in this documentary "The Forgetting" I saw that other family members went through this same torment: Wanting their loved one at peace but hating themselves for praying for someone's demise.
That's one example of about 25. There are a lot of secret thoughts one harbors when dealing with a loved one who has Alzheimer's. And I'm talking about the person who *really deals* with the loved one. The person who is DOWN IN THE TRENCHES doing the fighting, doing the praying, and DOING THE WORK.
"The Forgetting" did a beautiful and honest job of capturing those thoughts and feelings and emotions that the loved ones face through the long, slow course of this disease.
Speaking as someone who just emerged from those trenches, I highly recommend this documentary. This morning, several hours after watching the video (last night), I feel more peace about Auntie's passing than ever before. I feel as though someone took my hand and said, "it's okay. You did all the right things."
Buy it, rent it, watch it, but be prepared to shed a few tears.
Rose Thornton
gentlebeam@hotmail.com
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great documentary with very little resemblance to the book.. by Phil (USA) 5 Stars
May 23, 2005
This is a fantastic documentary that kept me riveted and inspired. Unfortunately, when I bought the book "THE FORGETTING", it was not even vaguely similar and lacked 99% of the information provided in the film. I can instead recommend the book, 'DECODING DARKNESS" by Dr. Tanzi, who comments on the science throughout the film.Tanzi's book is a little too detailed when it comes to the science and medicine of Alzheimer's, but explained much more about the causes of the disease along the lines of the film.
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A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words by Jacqueline Marcell (Irvine, CA United States) 5 Stars
January 04, 2005
Caregivers of Alzheimer's patients often feel that they are the only ones going through such difficult times, even though they know that millions are afflicted with the disease, no one could be struggling as much. This video shows you that you are not alone, that others have experienced the exact same things you are facing and survived it. And even though caregiving is difficult, there are solutions.
Jacqueline Marcell, Author, 'Elder Rage', and Host of 'Coping With Caregiving' Internet Radio Program.
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