Elementary school can be an unforgiving place for children who are socially isolated. A close friend can be critical in helping these kids through tough times. However, a new Concordia paper published in the journal Child Development shows that the effects of friendship depend on the friend’s level of social capital — meaning benefits like inclusion, trust, popularity and support — and the type of isolation a child is experiencing.
The researchers studied 252 fifth- and sixth-grade students in Montreal to see how friendships affect two kinds of isolation: withdrawal, in which a child chooses to be alone due to shyness or self-consciousness, and being left out, when the child is excluded by peers.
They found that peer exclusion can be reduced when a child has a well-liked friend, while social withdrawal tends to remain stable regardless of friendships with a high-status peer.
“Although it is well known that peer experience in childhood and adolescence are the best predictors of well-being in adulthood, the processes that account for these effects are not well known. Our findings show that having a well-accepted friend can protect children from experiencing sustained exclusion across time,” says the study’s lead author Melissa Commisso, PhD 2026, now a resident at the Montreal General Hospital.
“This is very important, because we know that being excluded by the peer group is something that could bring about negative mental health consequences. Examples include depression, anxiety and low-self esteem, as well as lower academic success and long-term social difficulties as these children age.”
Over the course of eight weeks, students at four Montreal-area elementary schools were asked to identify their closest friends. They were also asked to nominate peers who fit descriptions related to withdrawal or exclusion — whether they preferred to stay alone or were left out of activities.
“We use the peer group to tell us what the children in the classes are like,” says co-author William Bukowski , a professor in the Department of Psychology . “The strength of our research was our ability to go beyond typical studies of peer influence that emphasize processes in which peers internalize the features of the friends. In our study we examined whether withdrawn and excluded children would benefit from the social connections provided by a friend.”
The study focused on pairs of mutual best friends and tracked how their social experiences changed over time.
By comparing data collected in September and November, the researchers were able to examine how stable these behaviours were and whether a child’s friendship influenced those patterns.
The results show clear differences between the two forms of isolation. Social withdrawal remained relatively consistent over time, suggesting it is more closely tied to individual traits and may be less affected by external social factors.
Peer exclusion was more amenable. Children who had friends who were well accepted by others were less likely to remain excluded, indicating that a social connection with a well-liked peer can help improve their standing within a group.
However, when isolated children befriend others who are not considered well-accepted by the peer group, those friendships reinforce their existing social status. Although the children may benefit from the emotional support provided by the friendship, they are less likely to experience greater inclusion among their peers. This suggests that the social standing of the friend, particularly whether the friend is well liked by peers, is the central factor.
The researchers believe their findings suggest that interventions should be tailored to the type of social isolation a child is experiencing.
“For children who are excluded, we can think of group-oriented interventions that disrupt ongoing cycles of exclusion, and normalize inclusion within the classroom,” Commisso says.
“Whereas for withdrawal, we might need more internal-based interventions. We could use types of therapies that help children notice and relate differently to the cognitions that might prevent them from participating socially or help regulate certain emotions or anxieties they might have. Such interventions can help children gradually approach feared social situations, increase psychological flexibility, and reduce avoidance.”
The Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada supported this research.
Read the cited paper: “ Social exclusion, but not withdrawal, is diminished by a friend’s level of acceptance: A provisions model ”
Child Development
Data/statistical analysis
People
Social exclusion, but not withdrawal, is diminished by a friend's level of acceptance: A provisions model
31-Mar-2026
This study complies with APA ethical standards (ethics certification number 30016861).